


Hi Dad

by TheIonWhalesArise (ToastedRoach)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Drug Addiction, Father/Son Incest, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Memories, Non-Graphic Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:22:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29704005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToastedRoach/pseuds/TheIonWhalesArise
Summary: The second letter Billy wrote to his dad.--Sort of a vent fic.





	Hi Dad

**Author's Note:**

> I can't add custom tags on phone. Sorry.
> 
> TW: planning suicide, prison rape as the synonym for learning love
> 
> This is a work of fiction and although I'm badly depressed I'm well and fine and have sufficient support network.

Hi Dad,   
  
Who would've guessed I'd write you a letter again. One to throw from the bridge. Remember, that's where you'd find me every time I "ran away from home". These houses stand mostly empty now. There are still trees, dry and withered. We buried a squirrel under them. Me and the kid. I'm raising him up like you raised me.   
  
Remember Glenn? The guy who broke my wrist that night back at your old house. We're living together. For a while at least. Until I can come to see you. Shouldn't be long anymore.   
  
He says I should stay a while longer. Everyone says that. Who'd take care of the kid? That's why I stopped answering the calls, then threw away my old phone (ok I gave it to the kid, he still has friends at school and it was an expensive phone). Everyone from before, some of them you met too. I rather stay here, close to where we lived, close to you.   
  
On some days when I'm coming to it feels like you're here next to me. If I keep my eyes closed I won't lose you.   
  
Most days are dull and grey. You know how the winter is here. Foggy nights, frosty days. Neither cold nor warm. I walked past our house. To check on the kid's mum. She has a house that way. Usually I check if she's at home, if we should be careful. She hurt the kid. Like mum hurt me. You know, can't trust women like that. I try to be good to him but you know me. No one else does. No one else sees into my soul. You had a kind of a look in your eyes when you did. Maybe you didn't know, but it showed. The true love.   
  
Your asshole lawyer sold your old house and I can't even go back to look at it. The new owner fenced the entire lot. I miss that little house. The attic. The sound of the wind. You.   
  
Hope you're alright and can enjoy your freedom. I'm bad now but I've been worse. Maybe not. I wouldn't be going out in the cold to look for a dealer or to look for a customer if I was with you. I'm sorry I'm weak and cry. I wanted us to be always together. If you want to know about Dan I don't know. He always hated me. But I don't think he'll be coming to see you in a long time. He's much better off than we were.   
  
Shouldn't be long now til we meet. Unless one of these idiots "saves me". A sense of duty no one asked for. Go mind your own damn business. LOL   
  
One day recently I was thinking about the old jail. They mowed it down before Christmas, even that cool visitor center with the old yard. I liked to go back there. My old cell was still there. The corner. Stupid cameras caught me writing on that wall. Still paying the fine and the wall is gone. New houses coming. For whom? This place is as dead as the one I used to live in years ago, good old Bridge End. Anyway. I'm happy I was put into that cell. Sure it hurt for a long time but it was just a flesh wound. I learned important things there. I learned love. That nasty old bastard there was the best teacher I ever had. It's weird, being separated from you hurts less if I remember his teachings and seek out love.   
  
The kid stopped being scared of it. He's a cool one. He understands. And Glenn is here with him when I'm out late. Slowly I learn that some things don't disappear. Love doesn't disappear. All these bruises mean I'm free. I'm loved. I'm free.   
  
No one else loves me like you did, but Glenn managed to break my wrist again few months back. We remembered you, the kid was with a friend, we drank some good booze and talked. He's changed. The place where they locked him in... A compound up north, I've been there, it's hell. For someone like him even worse. He's too good-hearted. Took me over 6 months sweet talking for one single broken wrist. He doesn't want to go that path without his best friend. He'll kick me out in a few months. I know.   
  
I go back to NB then. I'll find some place. I don't know what will become of the kid because I'm going alone. I want to disappear so I can plan this in peace. These people won't let me come to see you otherwise.   
  
Every friend and lover I had means nothing. No man I ever wanted can compare to you. I only want you. Us. In that house in the woods. Making love to the sound of the wind.   
  
See you soon.   
  
Your loving son,  
Billy


End file.
